What does it take to make a relationships work? A question that has vexed all of us for forever! When it comes to relationships, you can make it work when you have a strong enough reason to make it happen. Love has nothing to do with us getting something and has everything to do with us giving. You attract what you focus on.

As Paulo Coehlo famously remarked

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — Paulo Coelho

If you focus on someone’s faults, that is all you will see. If you focus on what is good, that is what you will see. This is due to the Reticular Activating System (RAS). RAS draws our attention to what we’re focusing on. For example, if you bought a white BMW, you would notice other white BMWs on the road. Since you’re focusing on your car, you will notice it more on the road. Your RAS gets the signal that this is important to you, so you notice it.

What does this have to do with relationships? It turns out that our individual reticular activating systems will create an interpretation of an event based on our upbringing and conditioning. This is a key source of conflicts in relationships, because two people can walk away with entirely different interpretations after experiencing the same event.

Why Relationships Don’t Work?

Relationships often do not work out because of unmet needs and expectations, when one or both partners feel a lack of something from the other. What if you tried to discover your partner’s needs and meet them where they need you?

One of two things will happen: they see you noticing them and their needs, and they start to mimic the behavior of giving you what you need because they feel taken care of. Or, they may not appreciate you, and things will not change—this will give you a clear indication that it is time to move on.

Practical Tips to Make Relationships Work!

Building a passionate relationship requires effort and dedication from both partners. Here are some tips to help you and your partner cultivate a loving and passionate bond:

1. Communication: Good communication is key in any relationship. Make sure you listen to each other, express your feelings and thoughts openly and honestly, and avoid criticism or blame.
2. Quality time: Spend quality time together and make memories. This could be anything from taking a walk, cooking dinner together, or going on a weekend getaway.
3. Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy is important in any relationship. Make time for cuddles, affectionate gestures, and intimate moments that strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
4. Shared interests: Having shared interests and activities can help you and your partner connect on a deeper level. Pursuing a common hobby, exploring new things together, or simply enjoying each other’s company can bring you closer.
5. Show appreciation: Show your partner that you appreciate them by giving compliments, expressing gratitude, and recognizing the effort they put into the relationship.
6. Keep the spark alive: Relationships can become routine, so it’s important to keep things fresh and exciting. Surprise your partner with small gestures, try new experiences together, and keep the passion and excitement alive.
7. Support each other: A supportive and understanding partner can make all the difference in a relationship. Encourage each other, be there for each other during difficult times, and work together to achieve common goals.

By following these tips, you and your partner can build a passionate relationship that is full of love, affection, and mutual respect.

If you have tried all kinds of diets: Cambridge, Keto, Paleo, GM etc. and found that after some time, you gained back all you lost or sometimes even more, you are certainly one among many millions who experience this. I would also get on a diet, lose some kilos, feel elated, and then gradually regain most of it. This roller coaster of failed diet plans and the varying emotions accompanying it would make me feel miserable, and gradually I noticed myself holding ‘me’ responsible for this ‘Failure’.

After years of research and many certifications, I was convinced that “We don’t fail, diets fail us”!!

The most common questions I have with my hypnotherapy weight loss clients are;

“Can Hypnosis help with weight loss? All you do is sit there with your eyes closed; how could that possibly work?”

In this blog, you will get to know how Hypnosis for weight loss can be an effective way of challenging unhelpful mindsets that may be subconsciously (or consciously) decreasing your chances of successfully losing weight.

Why am I not losing weight even after dieting?

There are two main reasons why diets fail:

1. Atomic Memory

   One of the most significant can be attributed to the atomic memory that each cell in our body carries. Each time you diet and restrict your calorie intake, this action can cause a significant decrease in your metabolism. This is known as your ‘resting metabolic rate’ which decreases because the atomic memory of your body believes you are being starved and therefore, it decides to conserve energy as a result.

   When you come off the diet and consume more calories, your body stores fat as a natural consequence of its memory because it believes that you may starve again in the future. The more excess fat you store, the slower your metabolic rate becomes until it becomes increasingly hard to eat normally without regaining the weight. By dieting, you are essentially encouraging your body to store fat.

2. Abnormal Relationship with Food

   Another reason why diets fail you so badly is that they create an abnormal relationship with food. Put simply, when we can’t have something, the body and mind wants it even more.

   Just try a simple experiment: tell yourself not to think about a particular issue/ person and you will find that you will spend the whole day thinking ‘not to think’ about that subject. So effectively that subject will remain on top of your mind and the same is true for Diets when you tell your body that you can’t have something.

   There are various reasons why we have unhealthy relationships with food or weight loss issues.

   • For some it could be emotional, who use food to soothe unhappy feelings and temporarily solve loneliness, hurt, guilt, resentment, betrayal, anger, or stress. It’s important to understand that food will never cure these feelings, it may give temporary release but will make us feel worse afterwards.
   • For some others, it could be a carry forward of some beliefs and memories from their childhood. A powerful belief like I need to be big in order to be safe and protected or I shouldn’t have a beautiful body because men will lust after me or food is not available to me also creates that unhealthy relationship with food.
   • Some others could also have ‘reward or punish’ memories around food: either they were rewarded with maybe chocolates, candies or ice cream as kids when they achieved something or punished/ denied certain foods when something was not done to the approval of parents. Now as an adult, you will carry the same set of feelings related to food as it was engrained in you over a period of time and mostly this would be an unhealthy relationship with food. You just want more of the same and feel powerless to resist it. It is this thinking that sabotages your diet efforts.

Also the language that we use is very important. One of the rules of the mind is our mind always listens to the words we say and the pictures we create in our minds. We need to change how we dialogue with ourselves. When we say I love cake but I can’t have it, your desire for that food goes up and now you will find it hard to avoid it. But instead if you say, I like it but I can have this when I am 80 years old, I am choosing to eat a fruit instead because I want to be healthy and fit into those beautiful clothes then your craving or desire for it goes down. Your internal dialogue is the key to your weight loss journey.

The Food industry knows this and they are way ahead in the game. They use words like fun size, happy meal, divine, sun blessed, mothers pride, celebrations. They will sell anything if they can make profits off it. We all know how much chemicals and additives are there in packaged and junk food. We need to change our thoughts and beliefs. Every thought we think has a physical effect on our body. What drives us to eat are always feelings and diets never change the feelings. Diets fail us. That is why hypnotherapy works for weight loss so well.

Can Hypnosis help with weight loss?

Hypnosis works very well for weight loss issues. Hypnosis is the sleep of the nervous system, where you are in a relaxed state. You are in total control, if you wish you can open your eyes whenever you want to. In this relaxed state your critical factor, your chattering mind shuts down while the subconscious mind takes over. The beliefs around unhealthy relationship around food are stored in our subconscious mind. One of the biggest myths around weight loss is that it all comes down to willpower.

Willpower is not enough to help us take control of our weight because willpower is conscious, and our subconscious is so much more powerful than our conscious mind. It’s said that the subconscious mind can make the conscious mind do whatever it wants.

That is why if you subconsciously believe that ice-cream will cheer you up or make you happy but consciously you want to resist ice-cream, the subconscious mind always wins. So, no matter how much we try from our conscious level of mind and will power, we will never achieve the desired results. Even if we do, it will not be permanent because we haven’t addressed the root cause of the issue. Hypnotherapy for weight loss works at the subconscious level of our minds.

Hypnotherapy for weight loss success story

Weight Loss Hypnosis Dubai – Top Life Coach Anita Raina

At Atmaanaan, we offer you the best Hypnotherapy in Dubai. Hypnosis helps us reach our subconscious programs and beliefs, once we become aware of the belief and understand our patterns, habits and triggers. We can now replace them with empowering ones. Hypnosis for weight loss method gives permanent results as you are treating the root cause of the problem. 

Get in touch, with me Anita Raina, to understand the power of Hypnotherapy for weight loss and other issues such as stress and anxiety. 

I am immensely grateful to the globally acclaimed therapist, trainer and award-winning speaker MARISA PEER for guiding me in Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) journey techniques where I am able to deliver exceptional results to my clients. I have also attended her Dietless Life Program and this write up is inspired by her teachings/writings.

In simple terms, it means being sensitively aware of your child. Aware of your child’s challenges, joys, and frustrations. It is also about being sensitive enough to know what role to play in a situation as a custodian of a child.

Why custodian? Because the first step in the evolution as a conscious parent is to understand that we don’t own our children. They have come through us but not by us. As custodians, we have to nurture them, provide them a fertile environment, be our authentic selves with them, give them the requisite tools and allow them to spread their wings in the way they feel most comfortable.

Not so long ago, when we used to live in joint families with many children around, they had emotional support, and their needs were being met by other members of the family, such as cousins, grandparents, or aunts and uncles. If one of the parents was not able to play the role or was carrying their own unhealed inner wounds and reacting from a place of hurt, it wouldn’t have affected the child as much because someone else would have compensated for that lack. Today, with nuclear families and lack of day-to-day meaningful connections— as most children are increasingly living in virtual worlds, they have to rely on their parents. Now more than ever before we, the parents, have to step up, become sensitive and conscious to the needs of our children.

For a parent to become a custodian, they must overcome their own emotional baggage and limiting beliefs. As a parent, we must evolve and learn to live in the now with an acute awareness of the sensibilities and emotions of our children.

What does a conscious parent look like?

A conscious parent is one who constantly introspects; is always willing to work on themselves, is ready to clear their emotional baggage and limiting beliefs. Being intuitive, creative, playful, and having a sense of humor mean that a conscious parent is a good listener and can connect with their child. Once they are able to connect with their child at this level, they will not need tailored-made solutions, they would innately know how to respond to their child’s need. Every situation and child is unique and only when you connect with your child in that given situation, you access the solution. All answers are there deep within you, one just needs to enter that silence and space to be able to access it.

Parents need to create an atmosphere where children want to open up and share their feelings. A judgmental parent, or one that is always distracted with the outer world, or one who is quick to jump to ‘add salt to taste’ solutions is bound to lose out on the confidence of their children. Such parents are unable to move past the iron wall children make around their feelings.

A conscious parent understands that every moment is not a preaching moment; sometimes a child wants an active listener and they are able to come up with the solution themselves. So sometimes, it is OK to just listen, hug your child and validate their feelings. All of us want to feel connected and avoid rejection. So, our children need to feel loved and protected, to feel that they are good enough and that they matter.

It’s a bit of both, a science and an art: as parents, we need to become conscious of our own inner wounds, heal them and not look in our children to find opportunities to correct them. The world outside of us is a mirror image of what is inside of us.