Relationship Coach Archives - Atmaanaan https://atmaanaan.com/category/relationship-coach/ Wellness Centre Thu, 28 Dec 2023 13:28:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://atmaanaan.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/cropped-atmaanaan-favicon-icon-32x32.png Relationship Coach Archives - Atmaanaan https://atmaanaan.com/category/relationship-coach/ 32 32 What Makes a Relationship Work https://atmaanaan.com/what-makes-a-relationship-work/ https://atmaanaan.com/what-makes-a-relationship-work/#comments Wed, 26 Apr 2023 19:52:52 +0000 https://atmaanaan.com/?p=7143 What does it take to make a relationships work? A question that has vexed all of us for forever! When it comes to relationships, you can make it work when you have a strong enough reason to make it happen. Love has nothing to do with us getting something and has everything to do with … Continue reading "What Makes a Relationship Work"

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Relationships work: Commitment, Communication, Trust

What Makes a Relationship Work

What does it take to make a relationships work? A question that has vexed all of us for forever! When it comes to relationships, you can make it work when you have a strong enough reason to make it happen. Love has nothing to do with us getting something and has everything to do with us giving. You attract what you focus on.

As Paulo Coehlo famously remarked

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — Paulo Coelho

If you focus on someone’s faults, that is all you will see. If you focus on what is good, that is what you will see. This is due to the Reticular Activating System (RAS). RAS draws our attention to what we’re focusing on. For example, if you bought a white BMW, you would notice other white BMWs on the road. Since you’re focusing on your car, you will notice it more on the road. Your RAS gets the signal that this is important to you, so you notice it.

What does this have to do with relationships? It turns out that our individual reticular activating systems will create an interpretation of an event based on our upbringing and conditioning. This is a key source of conflicts in relationships, because two people can walk away with entirely different interpretations after experiencing the same event.

Why Relationships Don’t Work?

Relationships often do not work out because of unmet needs and expectations, when one or both partners feel a lack of something from the other. What if you tried to discover your partner’s needs and meet them where they need you?

One of two things will happen: they see you noticing them and their needs, and they start to mimic the behavior of giving you what you need because they feel taken care of. Or, they may not appreciate you, and things will not change—this will give you a clear indication that it is time to move on.

Practical Tips to Make Relationships Work!

Building a passionate relationship requires effort and dedication from both partners. Here are some tips to help you and your partner cultivate a loving and passionate bond:

  1. Communication: Good communication is key in any relationship. Make sure you listen to each other, express your feelings and thoughts openly and honestly, and avoid criticism or blame.
  2. Quality time: Spend quality time together and make memories. This could be anything from taking a walk, cooking dinner together, or going on a weekend getaway.
  3. Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy is important in any relationship. Make time for cuddles, affectionate gestures, and intimate moments that strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
  4. Shared interests: Having shared interests and activities can help you and your partner connect on a deeper level. Pursuing a common hobby, exploring new things together, or simply enjoying each other’s company can bring you closer.
  5. Show appreciation: Show your partner that you appreciate them by giving compliments, expressing gratitude, and recognizing the effort they put into the relationship.
  6. Keep the spark alive: Relationships can become routine, so it’s important to keep things fresh and exciting. Surprise your partner with small gestures, try new experiences together, and keep the passion and excitement alive.
  7. Support each other: A supportive and understanding partner can make all the difference in a relationship. Encourage each other, be there for each other during difficult times, and work together to achieve common goals.

By following these tips, you and your partner can build a passionate relationship that is full of love, affection, and mutual respect.

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]]> https://atmaanaan.com/what-makes-a-relationship-work/feed/ 1 Causes of Mental Health Issues in Teenagers https://atmaanaan.com/causes-of-mental-health-issues-in-teenagers/ https://atmaanaan.com/causes-of-mental-health-issues-in-teenagers/#respond Tue, 26 Oct 2021 15:02:51 +0000 http://atmaanaan.com/?p=2527 Born into a post-9/11 world, today’s teenagers face a whole host of issues despite the popular belief that everything is handed to them. Economic instability, a global pandemic, ever-increasing income inequality, and harassment based on race, colour, or gender have left teenagers with anxiety and a daunting future: a world that they will have to … Continue reading "Causes of Mental Health Issues in Teenagers"

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Causes of Mental Health Issues in Teenagers

Causes of Mental Health Issues in Teenagers

Born into a post-9/11 world, today’s teenagers face a whole host of issues despite the popular belief that everything is handed to them. Economic instability, a global pandemic, ever-increasing income inequality, and harassment based on race, colour, or gender have left teenagers with anxiety and a daunting future: a world that they will have to fix or deal with the consequences of their ancestors. Unsurprisingly, this has led to the highest rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation in comparison to previous generations. 
 
One can argue that similar challenges were also faced by their parents and older generations, so why are we now talking about this issue? I have seen many parents telling their children stories about how they had to struggle for basic necessities, while ‘this generation has everything served to them on a platter and still they complain’. This is where we, as elders, lose the plot! We make the mistake of assuming that material prosperity is directly proportional to better mental health. The reality runs contrary to this assumption. 
 
Nuclear families and the propensity of parents to work long hours— either for their own career aspirations or to scale up in material abundance— have left teenagers alone to fend for their own insecurities. The spread of social media through each aspect of our life has complicated this equation much more. 
 
In theory, social media is supposed to bring us together, to stay connected with one another regardless of physical distance. Yet, an unintended consequence has arisen. It is all too easy to compare your life to what you see online. An influencer’s mansion, a celebrity party, or even a red carpet premiere is now all too accessible to impressionable minds. The youngest members of society run unchecked through the internet without having the requisite context or parents helping them to separate fact from online fiction. Online abuse of children has become so widespread that many countries around the world are framing laws to control this issue. 
 
Aside from our digital world, the food that we consume today does not provide us with nutrition. Food was supposed to be fuel for our body but today, it is being used to meet our emotional needs. If we have an expensive car, we are diligent about the type of fuel that we fill in our cars so that we get maximum life and mileage. Yet, when it comes to our consumption of the food we put in our bodies: we are thoughtless. Excessive consumption of sugar, packaged foods, fast food has become the bane of our society and has led to an overwhelming number of health issues. It also has an impact on an individual’s mental health. The food and pharma lobbies are so strong that they don’t allow research material or facts about alternative methods to reach the public. 
 
So the question arises: how do we protect our children’s mental health? How do we make sure that they have the required tools to differentiate facts from fiction and to put things in the correct context? Most societies and communities give a lot of focus on physical health but mental health is still considered frivolous by many, and not given the respect and seriousness this subject deserves. It is time that we put this subject at the forefront of our priorities and work towards a healthy gen-next: Physically and mentally healthy.

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]]> https://atmaanaan.com/causes-of-mental-health-issues-in-teenagers/feed/ 0 Looking to Make Your Relationship Stronger https://atmaanaan.com/looking-to-make-your-relationship-stronger/ https://atmaanaan.com/looking-to-make-your-relationship-stronger/#comments Fri, 10 Sep 2021 10:59:22 +0000 http://atmaanaan.com/?p=533 “The more you stay with and/or complain about a toxic person, the more you are merely delaying doing the important inner work you need to do— to heal your wounds, expand your limiting beliefs and show yourself far more love and respect” – Karen Salmansohn Most of us enter into a relationship thinking that our … Continue reading "Looking to Make Your Relationship Stronger"

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Looking to Make Your Relationship Stronger

Looking to Make Your Relationship Stronger

“The more you stay with and/or complain about a toxic person, the more you are merely delaying doing the important inner work you need to do— to heal your wounds, expand your limiting beliefs and show yourself far more love and respect” – Karen Salmansohn

Most of us enter into a relationship thinking that our partner is going to fill the void that we feel inside: the truth is no one can. One has to work upon themselves independently, become a joyful human being before they enter a relationship— that’s the path to a blissful life.

How many married couples have we seen, who are carrying their own inner wounds, and have entered into a relationship because society demanded it? We know how unhappy these couples tend to be.

We then blame each other for the relationship not working. Until a generation ago, divorces were taboo. So, couples suffered in their marriage for the sake of their children and to avoid societal shame. But today, divorce has become more acceptable, so we’re increasingly finding people opting for it once they’re faced with issues. Unfortunately, they are trapped in a cycle because they will attract a similar person since they have not changed themselves.

Let’s delve into how we can make a relationship stronger. We are all running from programs and beliefs which were given to us when we were children. These beliefs are not even ours!
Some of these beliefs are very limiting, such as “I can’t ask for what I want because I may get rejected” or “I am not good enough/smart enough/thin enough to get the things I want” or “I will never find a partner”… the list goes on.

These self-limiting beliefs have a strong emotion attached to them. No matter how much their partner can try to explain things logically, the other person is in their emotion, and will not be able to understand. In a war of logic and emotion, emotion will win.

These limiting beliefs hold us back from having fulfilling and passionate relationships. So, the first thing is to become aware of these patterns. Once you journal and reflect upon them, challenge these beliefs by asking prompting questions. Questions like:

  • Is this really true?
  • When did I start believing it?
  • Is this belief helping me now?

The good news is: you formed the belief and you can change it too. It’s never the event that impacts us, it’s always the meaning that we give to the event. So, if we want a change, we have to change the story we tell ourselves.

It’s not easy to overcome limiting beliefs; it needs work. It’s important to become consciously aware of them and to keep interrupting the pattern since your mind learns by repetition. Becoming aware of your self-limiting behaviour and changing it consciously requires an inward journey. How can you help with this process?

  • Meditation: as once we are in silence and focusing on our thoughts, we become aware and understand how we formed these beliefs and can make changes
  • Visualization: helps to form how we want to be and creating those pictures in our mind of who we actually want to become.

In case you find it hard to do it alone, there is no shame in having an accountable partner, a therapist, or a coach who can help you get to where you want to go.

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